Talk to a lawyer or domestic violence agency if you think you need a temporary restraining order. You can find phone numbers for legal services offices, domestic violence agencies, and court service centers at the back of this article.

Contact a domestic violence agency if you are very afraid or believe you are in serious danger. You can call a hotline and talk about your situation without telling your name or address.

This article gives you information about:

• Who can ask for a restraining order
• Other ways to protect yourself (protective order)
• Important paperwork
• Child custody as part of a restraining order
• The court hearing
• Enforcing court orders
• Domestic violence shelters and hotline numbers
• For more information

This is the first of two articles that are here to help you. This article starts with the basics.

Restraining order

• A restraining order is a paper from a judge that tells someone to stop hurting you or threatening to hurt you.

You have to go to family court to ask for a restraining order. You ask a judge, in writing, to give you this paper. It will not cost you any money.

A restraining order signed by a judge lasts 180 days. It can last longer if you ask the judge before the 180 days runs out to make it last longer.

A restraining order may not be the right thing for you. Ask a lawyer or domestic violence agency for help before you file papers with the court.

• A judge can only give you a restraining order if a "family member" is "hurting" you or threatening to hurt you. A "family member" can be:
  • A person you are or were married to
  • Your parent or child
  • A person you have a child or children with
  • An adult blood relative (example: aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent)
  • An adult relative by marriage (example: sister-in-law, father-in-law)
  • A person you are dating or have dated.

"Hurting" means hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, jumping, strangling, dragging, stomping, scratching, kicking, beating, or biting.

Protective order

• There is another kind of court order that may help--a protective order.

A protective order is also a paper that tells someone to stop hurting you or threatening you. It is good to have both a protective and a restraining order. The police and courts are better able to help you if you have both.

Only a criminal court judge can give a protective order. The order can only be given when there are criminal charges against the person, like assault.

• There are 2 types of protective orders.

A 'limited protective order' allows the person to still live with you or still come around you. It does not usually cover children you have with this person. It may cover children you have with someone else.

A 'full no contact protective order' does not allow this person to come near you in any way, for any reason.

• You do not have to go to court to ask for a protective order.

A victim advocate who works for the court will contact you to ask if you want a protective order.

A protective order ends when the person charged in the criminal case has been sentenced. A sentence can be probation or time in jail.

Important paperwork for restraining orders

• You will need to complete a few forms telling the judge why you feel you are in danger.

If the judge decides you might be in danger, he or she will give you a temporary restraining order (TRO). Then a court hearing will be held in 14 days.

The temporary restraining order will only last until the 14-day hearing. At the hearing, the judge will decide if you should have a restraining order that will last for 180 days.

The person named in the order will get a copy of the forms you filed. He or she might be in court for the 14-day hearing.

Note: You must go to court. If you do not go to the 14-day hearing, the restraining order will end.

You must fill out a few forms.

The other person will get a copy of the forms.

Going to court

• You will have to go to court.

You must go to the 14-day hearing to tell your side of the story. Your statements in court are important. The restraining order will end if you do not show up.

You must go to court.

If you do not go to the 14-day hearing,
the restraining order will end.

• You can bring witnesses with you to court.

To bring a witness to the hearing, you must fill out subpoena forms and give them to the clerk before the 14-day hearing.

A subpoena is a court order requiring someone to come to court about a case on a certain date and time. This order must be handed to the person by a state marshal.

• Do not bring your children to court unless you bring someone to watch them for you.

• Do not bring a new wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend to court.
  
• You will have to speak to a Family Relations Officer (FRO) if the other person comes to court.

The Family Relations Officer (FRO) will try to get an agreement about your case with you and the other person.

You can speak to the Family Relations Officer alone if you are afraid or uncomfortable talking about what happened in front of the other person.

• If the judge gives you a restraining order for 180 days, the clerk will give you a certified copy of it.

• Keep the restraining order with you at all times.

Children

• You can get temporary custody of children if the judge believes the children may also be in danger.
  This type of custody order is only for children:
  • you have with the person named in the restraining order
  • that are 17-years-old or younger.
  • Temporary custody will only last 180 days.
• If the judge does not give you temporary custody, you do have another option.

You can file for custody of your children in a separate case. Speak to a lawyer about your situation before starting a new case.

Call the police if the person
does not obey the order.
Always carry the restraining
order with you.

Enforcing court orders

• Keep the restraining order with you at all times.

• Police departments can help.

Police departments where you live and work can keep the person from ignoring the order. The court will fax a copy of the order to them.

• Do not have any contact with the person.

Call the police if the person does not obey the order. Hang up if the person calls you and call the police right away. Do not talk with the person.

• Follow all court orders about your children.

The judge's orders will tell you about any contact you can have for visitation with your children.

• Call the police if the other person does not follow the court order. Then go back to the courthouse and ask for help with a "motion for contempt."

A "motion for contempt" asks the judge to punish a person for not obeying a court order. The Court Service Center or the clerk’s office can help you with the paperwork. They cannot give you legal advice.

Summary

• Talk to a lawyer or domestic violence agency if you are thinking about getting a restraining order.

Phone numbers for legal services offices, domestic violence agencies, and court service centers are at the end of this article.

If you decide to ask for a restraining order, please read the next article in this series called How to Ask for a Restraining Order.

Domestic violence programs in CT

Emergency shelter, 24-hour hotline, crisis intervention, and information and referral services available.

24-Hour Statewide Hotline: 888-774-2900

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence
90 Pitkin Street
East Hartford, CT 06108
Tel: 860-282-7899
Fax: 860-282-7892

Ansonia: Center for Domestic Violence Services
Hotline 203-736-9944
Office 203-736-2601

Bridgeport: The Center for Women & Families of Eastern Fairfeld County, Inc.
Hotline 203-384-9559
Office 203-334-6154

Danbury: Women’s Center of Greater Danbury
Hotline 203-731-5206
Office 203-731-5200

Dayville: United Services - Domestic Violence Program
Hotline 860-774-8648
Office 860-774-7243

Enfield: Network Against Domestic Abuse
Hotline 860-763-4542
Office 860-763-7430

Greenwich: Domestic Abuse Service (YWCA)
Hotline 203-622-0003
Office 203-869-6501x171

Hartford: Interval House
Hotline 860-527-0550
Office 860-246-9149

Meriden: Meriden-Wallingford Chrysalis
Hotline 203-238-1501
Office 203-630-1638

Middletown: New Horizons
Hotline 860-347-3044
Office 860-344-9599

New Britain: Prudence Crandall Center for Women
Hotline 860-225-6357
Office 860-225-5187

New Haven: Domestic Violence Service of Greater New Haven
Hotline 203-789-8104
Office 203-865-1957

New London & Norwich: Women’s Center of Southeast CT, Inc.
Hotline 860-701-6000
Office 860-447-0366

Norwalk: Domestic Violence Crisis Center
Hotline 888-774-2900
Office 203-853-0418

Sharon: Womens Support Services
Hotline 860-364-1900
Office 860-364-1080

Stamford: Domestic Violence Crisis Center
Hotline 888-774-2900
Office 203-588-9100

Torrington: Susan B. Anthony Project
Hotline 860-482-7133
Office 860-489-3798

Waterbury: Safe Haven of Greater Waterbury
Hotline 203-575-0036
Office 203-575-0388

Willimantic: United Services - Domestic Violence Program
Hotline 860-456-9476
Office 860-456-9275

This pamphlet was produced by the Legal Assistance Resource Center of Connecticut in cooperation with Connecticut Legal Services, Greater Hartford Legal Aid, New Haven Legal Assistance Association, and Statewide Legal Services.

The information in this pamphlet is based on laws in Connecticut as of 8/2009. We hope that the information is helpful. It is not intended as legal advice for an individual situation. Please call Statewide Legal Services at 1-800-453-3320 or contact an attorney for additional help.