For important facts about temporary restraining orders, read our first article, Before Asking for a Restraining Order - Things You Need to Know.
The steps you need to take to get a restraining order are explained in this article. If you have questions, talk to a lawyer or domestic violence agency. See the end of this article for helpful phone numbers.
You must take 6 steps to get a restraining order: - The day of the court hearing
- Agreements
- Judge's decision
- Some things to keep in mind
- Domestic violence programs in CT
- For more information
You must take 6 steps to get a restraining order:
- Fill out the court forms.
- Give the forms to the court clerk.
- Get the restraining order and have it served.
- Get ready for the court hearing.
- Go to the hearing and present your case to the judge.
- Enforce the restraining order.
A restraining order is a paper from a judge that tells someone to stop hurting you or threatening to hurt you.
Steps to take
You must fill out court forms to ask the judge for the restraining order. What you say on these forms must be true. Keep in mind the abusive person will see the first three forms listed below.
- Application for Relief from Abuse (JD-FM-137). Fill in basic information about your situation such as names, addresses, birth dates, etc. You can also tell the judge if the person has guns.
- Affidavit for Relief from Abuse (JD-FM-138). Explain in your own words why you need a restraining order.
- Affidavit Concerning Children (JD-FM-164). Fill out this form if you are asking for temporary custody of your children.
- Request for Nondisclosure of Location Information (JD-FM-188). The court needs a mailing address. This form tells the court not to put your address in the court file where the abusive person might see it. The abusive person will not get a copy of this form.
Note: The letters and numbers next to the name of the form is the official form number. Use these numbers to find or ask for forms.
You can get the court forms
- Online at the State of Connecticut Judicial Branch web site. You can use the Internet at any public library.
- At the court clerk’s office. Every courthouse has a clerk’s office.
You can get help filling out the forms at a
- Court clerk’s office
- Court Service Center (at the courthouse)
- Legal services office or
- Domestic violence agency.
See the back of this article for phone numbers.
Court clerk - A person who accepts and files court papers for the court. Clerks cannot give you legal advice.
2. Give the forms to the court clerk.
Take these completed forms to the court clerk’s office in the Judicial District
- where you live or
- where the abusive person lives if you are afraid he or she will find out where you live.
Scroll down for a list of Judicial Districts.
3. Get the restraining order and have it served.
The court clerk will give your papers to a judge. The judge will make a decision based on what you wrote on these papers. You may still get a restraining order at the 14-day hearing if you are not given the order immediately.
- If the judge gives (grants) the restraining order, the order will be temporary. It will only last until the 14-day hearing.
The clerk will:
- Give you a certified copy of the restraining order. Keep it with you at all times.
- Fax the order to the police department where you live and work, and where the abusive person lives.
- Give you copies of the order and court papers that will need to be served.
- Set a date and time for the 14-day hearing.
The judge will decide at this 14-day hearing if the restraining order should continue for 180 days.
- Get the restraining order served.
A state marshal must deliver the court papers to the abusive person. This is called service. Service is free. The clerk’s office will give you a list of marshals or you can find one at the State of Connecticut Judicial Branch web site.
Call the marshal and arrange to give him or her the court papers. The marshal must serve the papers at least 5 days before the 14-day hearing.
You must go to the hearing or
the restraining
order will end.
4. Get ready for the court hearing.
- You must go to the 14-day court hearing.
The restraining order will end if you do not show up. The abusive person will be allowed to have contact with you when the order ends.
- Think about how you can show the judge that you are in danger.
Your testimony will help the judge decide whether to continue the restraining order for 180 days.
Testimony can also come from the abusive person and other people who saw what happened (called witnesses). Witnesses may include the police officer, a DCF worker, a neighbor who saw what happened, etc.
Papers such as police reports, medical records, DCF records, or bank statements may be helpful.
- You must get a court order (called a subpoena) to get a witness or records to go to the hearing.
A subpoena orders a person to bring certain papers with them to court (for example, police reports, medical records, DCF records, bank statements, etc.)
Ask the court clerk for the forms to subpoena a person and papers to court. You must fill out the subpoena form before the 14-day hearing.
Subpoena - A court order requiring someone to come to court about a case on a certain date and time. A state marshal must deliver it.
The day of the court hearing
5. Go to the court hearing and present your case to the judge.
- Get to court at least 15 minutes early. Go to the court clerk’s office to find out which courtroom to go to.
- Go to the courtroom and let the clerk know that you are ready to present your case to the judge. Give the clerk any papers the marshal gave you.
- Find the Family Relations Office and sign up to speak to a Family Relations Officer (FRO).
You will have to speak to a Family Relations Officer (FRO) about your case before you speak to the judge if the abusive person comes to court.
You can speak to the FRO alone if you are afraid or uncomfortable talking about what happened in front of the abusive person.
The FRO will suggest a way to settle your situation. You do not have to accept the suggestion.
You have the right to tell your side of the story to a judge and let the judge make a decision. If there is an agreement, the FRO will help you write it down to give to the judge.
Family Relations - A branch of the court that tries to help people resolve problems.
Family Relations Officer (FRO) - Court employees that listen to you and the other person to help you come to an agreement.
Note: Family Relations may be called Family Services.
When your case is called, say "ready" and go stand at a table at the front of the courtroom.- When the judge calls your case
Stand up and say, "Ready" when the judge calls your case. Go to the front of the courtroom and stand behind one of the tables.
Agreements
If you have an agreement:
Give the judge the agreement. The judge will review it and ask these questions:
- Is this your agreement?
- Do you think the agreement is fair?
- Do you want me to make your agreement an order of the court?
- Did anyone force you to agree to this?
If you do not have an agreement:
Both you and the abusive person will tell your own side of the story to the judge. The judge will then decide if the order should last 180 days.
Judge's decision
- If the order is granted (given):
You will be given a certified copy of the order. Keep this copy with you at all times. The abusive person will be given a certified copy. The police departments where you live and work and where the abusive person lives will be sent a copy of the restraining order.
- If the order is not granted
Try to find out why the judge did not give you the restraining order. You may be able to correct the problem. There may have been a problem with the papers being served to the abusive person. Talk to a lawyer for help if you have to start the process over again.
6. Enforce the restraining order.
- Do not have any contact with the abusive person.
Call the police right away if the person shows up or calls you. Do not talk with the person.
- Follow all court orders about your children.
- Call the police if the other person does not follow the orders. Then go back to the courthouse.
Fill out a motion for contempt form. A motion for contempt asks the judge to punish a person for not obeying a court order. The Court Service Center or the clerk’s office can help you with the paperwork. They cannot give you legal advice.
Enforcing a restraining order - What to do if the other person does not obey the Restraining Order.
Motion for contempt - A written request to a judge asking to punish a person for not obeying a court order. The clerk’s office will have a court form to fill out to make this request.
Call the police if the person does not obey the order.Some things to keep in mind
- A restraining order may not fit your situation. Read the article, Things You Need to Know Before Asking for a Restraining Order. Talk to a lawyer or domestic violence agency if you have any questions.
- The abusive person will not know right away that you are asking for a restraining order. The person has the right to see what you wrote in the court forms at least 5 days before the 14-day hearing. A state marshal must serve the forms.
- Your testimony at the 14-day hearing is the only proof that is absolutely necessary. You must go to court and tell the judge your side of the story. If you do not show up, the restraining order will end. You will have to start the process over again.
- A court interpreter may not be available to translate for you in court. If one is available, you may wait for many hours to go in front of the judge.
- Do not bring children to court with you. If you must bring your children, have someone with you to watch them in the hallway while you are busy in court.
- Do not bring a new boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, or wife to court! This will likely cause problems.
- You will see the abusive person in court (if he or she chooses to come).
- Call a lawyer or domestic violence agency if you have questions or are confused about what to do.
Domestic violence programs in CT
Emergency shelter, 24-hour hotline, crisis intervention, and information and referral services available.
24-Hour Statewide Hotline: 888-774-2900
Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence
90 Pitkin Street
East Hartford, CT 06108
Tel: 860-282-7899
Fax: 860-282-7892
Ansonia: Center for Domestic Violence Services
Hotline 203-736-9944
Office 203-736-2601
Bridgeport: The Center for Women & Families of Eastern Fairfeld County, Inc.
Hotline 203-384-9559
Office 203-334-6154
Danbury: Women’s Center of Greater Danbury
Hotline 203-731-5206
Office 203-731-5200
Dayville: United Services - Domestic Violence Program
Hotline 860-774-8648
Office 860-774-7243
Enfield: Network Against Domestic Abuse
Hotline 860-763-4542
Office 860-763-7430
Greenwich: Domestic Abuse Service (YWCA)
Hotline 203-622-0003
Office 203-869-6501x171
Hartford: Interval House
Hotline 860-527-0550
Office 860-246-9149
Meriden: Meriden-Wallingford Chrysalis
Hotline 203-238-1501
Office 203-630-1638
Middletown: New Horizons
Hotline 860-347-3044
Office 860-344-9599
New Britain: Prudence Crandall Center for Women
Hotline 860-225-6357
Office 860-225-5187
New Haven: Center for Domestic Violence Services
Hotline 203-789-8104
Office 203-865-1957
New London & Norwich: Women’s Center of Southeast CT, Inc.
Hotline 860-701-6000
Office 860-447-0366
Norwalk: Domestic Violence Crisis Center
Hotline 888-774-2900
Office 203-853-0418
Sharon: Womens Support Services
Hotline 860-364-1900
Office 860-364-1080
Stamford: Domestic Violence Crisis Center
Hotline 888-774-2900
Office 203-588-9100
Torrington: Susan B. Anthony Project
Hotline 860-482-7133
Office 860-489-3798
Waterbury: Safe Haven of Greater Waterbury
Hotline 203-575-0036
Office 203-575-0388
Willimantic: United Services - Domestic Violence Program
Hotline 860-456-9476
Office 860-456-9275
This booklet was produced by the Legal Assistance Resource Center of Connecticut in cooperation with Connecticut Legal Services, Greater Hartford Legal Aid, New Haven Legal Assistance Association, and Statewide Legal Services.
The information in this booklet is based on laws in Connecticut as of 8/2009. We hope that the information is helpful. It is not intended as legal advice for an individual situation. Please call Statewide Legal Services at 1-800-453-3320 or contact an attorney for additional help.
